Wednesday, April 28, 2010

3 things I learned at this morning's check-up

1. Blood pressure machines make my blood pressure skyrocket. Add that one to your list, Alanis.

2. When EKG electrodes don't stick to your chest, sometimes nurses tape them down with industrial strength tape. Tape that goes down must come up. Farewell patch of chest hair.

3. It is very difficult to trust the same nurse who just pulled a chop job on the manscape to find a vein when drawing blood on the first try. Welcome back, blood pressure.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Steve Wants to Trade

Steve S. from San Diego wants to trade tattoo work for the items you put up for sale on Craigslist. I know this because everytime I post something, I get a response from him. Vacuum cleaners, beach cruisers, jewelry... evidently the only thing he doesn't need is a tattoo gun. Last week I posted an ad for a TV:
32in flat-screen (not flat-panel) Sony TV with wood entertainment unit available. Asking $200, and no, we don't want to trade for tattoo work.
Response from Steve:
Was wondering if you might be willing to trade for some professional tattoo work? I am willing to trade you for MORE than your asking price... get back at me.. lets see if we can work something out..

Counter-response:
Steve...not to be a dick, but did you read my listing? I specifically said I don't want to trade for tattoo work. Do you think I put that in there because I don't have or want tattoos? No. Do you think I put that on there because everytime I post something for sale on craigslist, i get 35 tattoo artists bugging me to trade for ink? No. It's you, man. You are the reason I put that little clause in there. Everytime I've posted something in the San Diego area, I get your little request to trade for tattoo work.

I get it, you need work to build up your book so you can start your own shop, I can dig it and good luck, but let me give you a little piece of advice, trolling craigslist all day and responding to every post that pops up without reading it is not a good plan. #1, you're pissing everyone off and #2, what caliber of clientele do you think you're going to target? Who do you think wants to trade a broken thighmaster for some prison tats? Hope you are comfortable around crystal meth (although maintaining the stamina it would take to respond to every single ad on craigslist leads me to believe you might be).

Listen, hit up some local ink shops and ask to sweep the floors or pass out flyers at the beach but stop this. Just stop it.

Labels: