Saturday, June 30, 2012

This f@#king squirrel

We have two dogs. They aren't particularly well behaved, which is confusing considering my wife is an animal trainer. Never the less, they seize every opportunity to completely spaz out over seeing another living creature. For some reason, those rules do not apply at dog beach- that seems to be their Fortress of Solitude. But anyone that has the moxie to walk by our house is unfortunately subject to a full-scale freak out. I don't really know if they're trying to protect us or just being douchebags, but it's very loud and unpleasant for everyone. We can usually calm them down and the people move on, but there is another... An asshole squirrel.


This f@#king squirrel runs up and down the palm tree on our patio and taunts them. He perches safely out of reach and defiantly chatters at them until they are whipped up into an unrecoverable frenzy, then hops over the fence and moves along to the next yard. I know that he's a serial antagonist because I can hear my neighbors dogs barking shorty there after. This squirrel... he knows what he's doing and intentionally seeks to disrupt the serenity of our otherwise peaceful neighborhood.

I want to buy a gun and shoot his vermin-ass off my tree the next time he does this. Wife says i'm overreacting. I don't think the world would miss this disruptive little shit.

Should I whack the squirrel?

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