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Occasionally, I look around and wonder how I got to where I am and what the hell i'm doing there. I don't mean this in a “what does it all mean” sense, I mean it in a micro sense. Like I'll be watching a Charger game, screaming like a banshee with my shirt off and suddenly realize, “I'm not on this football team. I don't personally know anyone that plays on this team. I don't even have any money on the game. Why am I freaking out?”. Then Cromartie makes a one-handed interception and I go cartwheeling into the parking lot, jabbering like an nutcase. I guess it doesn't make sense to micromanage your life, just enjoy it. But still, those moments are always a little insightful, if not amusing. I just walked into my office, looked down at the breakfast I had prepared moments earlier and had one of those moments. I took a pic of it w/ my phone and thought i'd share. If it doesn't make sense, it's ok. It shouldn't and the reason anyone would is the reason it's funny.

On that note- something happened a few weeks ago that didn't shed any light on my life or enlighten me in anyway, but it was funny for the same reason. Jenny and I went to see Ironman. I should probably preface this by informing anyone who doesn't know me that I like me some comic book movies. Oh, do i like me some comic book movies. When Optimus Prime first botted out in Transformers, I squealed like a little girl and nearly peed myself (I know Transformers wasn't a comic, but you get the idea). That being said, I knew there was a stinger at the end of the Ironman credits, and announced we would be staying for it. The problem is that a movie like Ironman requires 300,000 people to make and get credited for so we were there for a while. I looked around and noticed 8 or 10 people were waiting as well. We all sat patiently, waiting for our payoff. They were mostly couples, and i'm sure Jenny wasn't the only one being forced to wait. Finally, the screen went dark and the much anticipated preview began. Without spoiling it, there is a reference to another comic movie to come that made the remaining fanboys like myself smile from ear to ear. After it was over, the theater went silent and Jenny looked over at me. I was still grinning and she said, quite audibly, “You're such a nerd.”.

Everybody in the theater laughed.

“Dan” the Cable Guy?

I never really thought Larry the Cable Guy was funny. I get his act, but I always kind of gave him a pass because it seems like he's done well for a guy from the bowels of trailerparkansas, or where ever he's from. Then I saw this.



Still not funny, but kudos on fooling the South into embracing him as their own. Although they embrace fried twinkies, Nascar and the chimp in the whitehouse, so maybe it's not that hard.

Green Tea Blows Ass.

I'm not talking about the real thing, i'm talking about the bottled stuff made by companies like Sobe. This stuff tastes worse than Robitussin and you don't even get a buzz. Who on earth likes this crap and why do I keep buying it thinking I do? Everytime, I open it, take a drink and remember, “Shit. I hate this stuff.”. I could be wearing a snowsuit, doing roadwork in Tucson and i don't think i could finish one. Good Christ. When is anyone walking into a cool grocery store on a hot summer day, wiping their brow and thinking, “Man, i'm parched. I could go for a liter of warm Goldschläger ”.

Props to the marketing department at Sobe Green Tea. Somehow you guys keep getting this crap in my hands.