I didn't think it was possible for me to hate my neighbor more. Then I walked out my front door.
This guy... this guy kills me.
Not only does he rev his shitbox all night and race around the block like he's Cole Fucking Trickle, but now I have to walk out to an imax view of this idiot's shit-stained banana hammock.
27 inches of fucking underwear? Really? Gonna rock the dirty jeans that low? I really want to shove this guy in, beat him to death with his own dented hood, and take this cretin out of the gene pool for the good of all mankind.
Hottie? Really? This guy? I'm not exactly on the cutting edge of what teenage girls like (a fact that i'm not ashamed of), but this meatball looks like he should be f@#king up my order at Burger King. Hottie? He looks like me when I was 14 and believe me... "hottie" was not a name people called me.
All i'm saying is you could find a better looking kid if you stuck your camera out the window and drove around the block. Or maybe I need to stop judging underage male models and get back to work.
So I went home to make a tuna sandwich on my lunch break. It started out as an innocent sandwich preparation followed by some Wildest Police Videos. I opened the can of tuna and it squirted all over my shirt and hands. As I started to scoop it into the bowl, i realized the bowl I was using is for dips and stuff. It's capacity is well under what a can of tuna would require, especially considering mayonnaise and mixing. I was sure to avoid disaster by transferring it into a larger bowl, but during the tuna relocation, i dumped part of it on the floor. Now I'm left wondering if the dip bowl could handle the load since there's less tuna. While transferring the tuna back into the smaller bowl, i knocked the larger one onto the floor. The tuna that was waiting to be transferred was now on the floor with the original tuna that was too big for the dip bowl. Now I have more tuna on the floor than in either bowl, not to mention tuna juice all over my shirt and hands.
Did I hit my head this morning? Why is there tuna all over my kitchen? Am I Webster? I ended up scrapping the tuna plan and eating lunchmeat over the sink like a homeless person. By the time I cleaned all the tuna up, Wildest Police Videos was over and I had to drag my ass back to work.
I didn't think it was possible for me to hate my neighbor more. Then I walked out my front door.
