badvertising

Huh... guess I was having a bad day yesterday... well, let's see if we can move forward.

I saw this in a magazine the other day and my outrage was all too quickly dismissed by the wife. I might be hyper-aware of things like this as I work in advertising, but shouldn't a teeth whitening ad show, i dunno, teeth?

Omg... am i becoming Andy Rooney?

Punch in the Facebook

Disclaimer: Ok, I have to vent and this is where I do it. It's about facebook and I have no idea if any of my facebook "friends" read this, so if it applies to you, i'm not talking about you. I'm talking about everyone else who is doing what you may or may not be doing.


Who the fuck cares that you are "just chillin" or "hangin with [insert trendy and overtly pretentious kid's name]!". STOP WITH THE FUCKING INANE UPDATES. Everytime I read that you "Just had a yogurt cup! yum! LOL" I want to punch you in the neck. Seriously, the time it took you to write that and the time it took me to read it would be better spent whipping you with a car antenna for wasting it. Not only does no one give a fuck about you taking a nap or how much you wish it was Friday, but nothing is actually communicated. EVERYONE WISHES IT WAS FRIDAY, RETARD!

I am guilty of posting silly little phrases or obscure song lyrics, but at least there's the remote possibility of a synapse firing in someone's brain. Hearing about your nap not only makes me pissed that I am not napping, but it's a small window into what would appear to be a life of napping and yogurt which makes you either a convalescent or a word i hesitantly used earlier.

The next time you are sitting at your computer and you get the urge to post an update about some mundane task or lukewarm emotion, do me a favor; find a stapler and drive staples into your skull until you forget your password.

Again, this doesn't apply to anyone I know.

Lucasart

This may be old news to some, but I just saw it and i nearly passed out from over-awesomeness. A brief google search said it was for some Japanese Star Wars convention last year. If only they froze him in carbonite before JarJargate.

Wing Fail

The Australian Pub in Pacific Beach is famous for their hot wings. On Wednesdays, they are half price and the local carnivores descend like seagulls. It's cleverly named Wing Wednesday. We had to coordinate work schedules, triangulate parking strategies and stake out tables just to get a seat. The wings were practically drumsticks slathered in spicy sauces that were impossible to eat without getting it all over your face. They were the kind of wings that will rearrange the day's eating schedule so that you're sure you'll have enough room to eat until you get sick.

A few months ago we noticed they were getting smaller, arriving colder and weren't as good. We gave them the benefit of the doubt and chalked it up to a bad night in the kitchen. The next 4 attempts were progressively disappointing and eventually we stopped going altogether. Theories of mismanagement and ownership transfer were carelessly thrown around, but ultimately, the wings just sucked. It had been a month or so since we had gone, and last night we decided the cold war was over and we were going to give our previously beloved wings another day in court.

When they arrived at our table, I half expected Ashton Kutcher to pop out of the napkin holder and tell me we were punked. They looked like discarded bones from a previous Wednesday that were dipped in sauce, nuked for 8 seconds and re-served. I don't know what kind of anorexic chicken could produce these things, but i'm inclined to contact PETA and request an investigation. The only way anything could get that famished is by eating these wings. The wicked circle of malnutrition.

So the Aussie Pub is officially fired. Regrettably, we are accepting applications for a new wing place. Until then, Taco Tuesday is in charge.