Punch in the Facebook

Disclaimer: Ok, I have to vent and this is where I do it. It's about facebook and I have no idea if any of my facebook "friends" read this, so if it applies to you, i'm not talking about you. I'm talking about everyone else who is doing what you may or may not be doing.


Who the fuck cares that you are "just chillin" or "hangin with [insert trendy and overtly pretentious kid's name]!". STOP WITH THE FUCKING INANE UPDATES. Everytime I read that you "Just had a yogurt cup! yum! LOL" I want to punch you in the neck. Seriously, the time it took you to write that and the time it took me to read it would be better spent whipping you with a car antenna for wasting it. Not only does no one give a fuck about you taking a nap or how much you wish it was Friday, but nothing is actually communicated. EVERYONE WISHES IT WAS FRIDAY, RETARD!

I am guilty of posting silly little phrases or obscure song lyrics, but at least there's the remote possibility of a synapse firing in someone's brain. Hearing about your nap not only makes me pissed that I am not napping, but it's a small window into what would appear to be a life of napping and yogurt which makes you either a convalescent or a word i hesitantly used earlier.

The next time you are sitting at your computer and you get the urge to post an update about some mundane task or lukewarm emotion, do me a favor; find a stapler and drive staples into your skull until you forget your password.

Again, this doesn't apply to anyone I know.