Daily MySpace Rant

I like the band Pepper. I have them in my MySpace friends so that I can get bulletins when they are playing local show dates or releasing a new album. The problem is that when you go to their profile, FOUR different songs and THREE videos all try to load and play at the same time!! Not only does this freeze your browser, but why would they want all that shit playing at the same time??

People of MySpace: We get it. You figured out how to put music and videos on your page. Now stop it. Just stop it. link

Shalloween

I wrote this in 2004, before I had a blog. Since I haven't posted in a while, here ya go:

Personally, i get a kick out of the girls who dress up every year, even though they're just whoring up a traditional costume. (i.e.; Slutty Schoolgirl, Slutty Witch, Slutty Girl Scout, Slutty Devil etc.) Basically, the theme is always the same. A hooker with some identifiable marking linking them to something that was once harmless so that other girls don't call them hookers. I enjoy the show, but feel a little bad for em. Looks uncomfortable. Then again- pouring hot wax into your crotch doesn't sound like a parade either.

Guess the flipside is actually trying to come up with something creative, then getting stuck with crap on your face all night or lugging around some heavy costume that you can't breathe in.

My Halloween plans include procuring a bottle of Walker Red and listening to some jazz records. Until i get antsy- then i'll see you in line at Sharkeez in a bullshit costume i threw together hosting some weird combination of diving equipment and kitchenware.

Halloween sucks.

Oh Sweet Irony

I know i've been bitching about ads as of late, but I can't help it. This one does nothing but make me want lasers in my eyes.

Wait a minute...

Martyball?

This was more like PartyBall, an all-you-can-score extravaganza hosted by the usually conservative Coach Marty Schottenheimer. The San Diego Chargers kept firing pass after pass after pass, bewildering a 49ers defense that looked geared up for the run.

Quarterback Philip Rivers set a career-high with 339 passing yards, chucking the ball 39 times without an interception or a sack. link

Clickity Clack

Internet banner ads are probably one of the most popular forms of advertising being used today. They're cheap and effective. Some are slick flash animations that are clean and to the point. Some... not so much. If you've spent any time on websites like MySpace or Pirate Bay, you know what i'm talking about.

It started with clickable ads featuring a singer or actor and three choices to "Name This Star". Does anyone on the goddamn planet not know what Eminem looks like? No. And that's why it's effective. Because toothless morons in Trailerparkansas start slapping their forearms together and clicking away on the ad (right or wrong sends you to the same place, the whole ad is a link) - thereby giving the advertiser's site a "hit".

Then I began seeing the "catch the baby" ads with flash animations that allow you to chase the cartoon around and click when you think you've caught the little bastard. It made the user feel like they were playing a game. This was slightly more amusing and irritating at the same time. There are several variations of this that are equally lame, but today I think it hit the wall.



"Johnson, what ideas do you have for the next Banner Ad/Game?"

"I've got 'Hit the Tourist with a Snot-Rocket', 'Wipe Your Ass with Your Roommate's Cat' and 'Out-Fart the Gorilla'.

"Make it happen, Johnson, Maaaake it happen!!"

The real victim here is the poor sap that had to design a "fart button".

Chad Vader: Episode 4

...Then speed of light wins....

link

worth 1000

Q: What's better than beating the Super Bowl Champions 23-13?

A: Beating the Super Bowl Champions wearing powder blue uniforms.

Stupid Bee

I hate the Nasonex® Bee. Something about the animation or the voice... I don't know but it f@#king bugs me. Maybe i'm just having a bad morning and the Nasonex® Bee is getting the short end of the stick. All i'm saying is that bee really f@#king bugs me. Or did I already say that?

Day Against Digital Rights Management

Today is October 3, the International Day Against DRM -- the first global day where people rise up and say no to anti-copying technology that treats you like a crook. Remember, DRM doesn't stop "piracy" -- the only people who get DRM infections are people who don't pirate their media. You get DRM by buying your movies, music, games and books through authorized channels -- the stuff you download from P2P or buy off of a blanket at a flea-market has already had the DRM cracked off of it. They say that DRM "keeps honest people honest" -- but all it does is keep honest people in chains. from boing boing Link