Updated Facebook Update Rules:

1. No spamming your website. Blog linking is fine in moderation, but I don't want to join your pyramid scheme, and yes, as much as you think it's a "Once in a lifetime opportunity!", it's a pyramid scheme, stupid.

2. No more than one Mafia Wars update a day. Seriously, get back to work.

3. No religious or political bullshit. At this age everyone has their opinions and you throwing yours in people's faces isn't going to change anything. Even if you were able to swing someone into your way of thinking because of some stupid facebook update, you're recruiting soft-headed morons which isn't helping your cause.

4. Any food-related update that required a plastic spoon to eat is grounds for deletion.

5. No celebration without explanation. When you update, "I finally got it, wahoo!!!", it may elicit 25 of your friends to inquire what you got, but it makes me hope it gets run over by a school bus.

6. No asking fact-based questions that can be found on Google. If you're on Facebook, you've found the internet. Use it.

7. Don't need the gym schedule. We get it, you're a gym member. Go pump yourself.

That's probably enough alienating for one day. If you have anything to add, please do. Once again, if you're guilty of any of the above, i'm not talking about you. I'm talking about everyone else.