When in Doubt, Choke Em Out!

Often times, when I rail on something, I pause before I post and wonder- hmm, hope none of my friends read this and get offended. In this case- if you're my friend and you have a sticker that reads "When in Doubt, Choke Em Out" on the bumper of your car / truck / shitkicker bucket, I hereby terminate our friendship.

Lets stop and think about this for a moment. "When in Doubt", implies the subject is confused and without direction. "Choke Em Out" is a reference to a sleeper hold or the act of cutting off the blood to the brain via the carotid or jugular artery (not sure which, i'm not a doctor... obviously because i would be saving someone's life right now instead of bitching about a bumper sticker). So by that rational, this person's intent is to alert the people driving behind them that when they find themselves in a quandary and require advice, they grasp the nearest person and attempt to nearly kill them.

This seems counter productive unless you are in a fight to the death. And even if you were in a death fight, at what point would you find yourself wondering what to do? It's a death fight. Kill or at least disable the other person. I highly doubt I would ever be locked into a mortal brawl and think to myself, "Wait a minute! What did the sticker on that Mitsubishi Montero say to do when i'm in doubt? Google the problem?? Ask the advice of a trusted friend?? I know it was a rhyme! ...CHOKE EM OUT!!"

That sticker pissed me off so much that if I were being assaulted and the Choke Em Out guy pulled up, jumped in and began doing his thing, I would take my assailant's side and kick him in the onions. They would probably team up and beat me without mercy, but it would be worth it.