World's Worst Mix Tape
This is a facebook thread that i'm moving to here...
While the winner of this contest did an excellent job picking horrible songs, I really think I could beat the shittiness of that mix tape.
A written list isn't as fun as watching your friend drag his ass through the streets of New York blasting 'Butterfly' by Crazytown, but it'll have to do.
I tried to avoid novelty songs like "I'm Too Sexy" or "Barbie Girl" because, although they were awful, I don't think they were ever intended to be legitimate music. I also tried to avoid bands that I have a personal beef with (although Creed made the cut, proving that you can be a super-annoying douchebag AND make horrible music).
For Your Consideration:
NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK
“Hangin’ Tough”
May seem like a lay-up, but come on, this song was #1 and should be punished.
GERARDO
“Rico Suave”
As close to novelty as I wanted to get, but the memory of the shirtless video was probably my first example of world-class douchyness.
DEEP BLUE SOMETHING
“Breakfast At Tiffany’s”
Dumb. Really dumb. The one thing you got was a movie that 4% of the people that are listening to your song ever saw.
CREED
“Arms Wide Open”
Guh. Let's move on.
RUPERT HOLMES
“Escape (The Pina Colada Song)”
I didn't refine my dislike for this song until I realized it had a moral to the story. I just thought it was a crappy song. I don't need a message written in dookie.
COLOR ME BADD
“I Wanna Sex You Up”
First exposure to a man with waxed eyebrows. It was confusing on top of being badd.
BILLY OCEAN
"Caribbean Queen"
*or "Get Out of my Dreams"
Both blow donkey balls. Although it could be argued that Billy was singing about hooking up with hot chicks and I was battling puberty and a crippling inability to talk to girls while these songs were popular. They smell like Clearasil and insecurity.
BILLY RAY CYRUS
“Achy Breaky Heart”
Mullet.
ACE OF BASE
"All That She Wants"
I'm sure this song is a message about teen pregnancy or something- i never bothered to listen. Dookie message policy applies.
CRASH TEST DUMMIES
“Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm”
Stupid song, stupid croaky voice, stupid stories, but mainly for making everyone say "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" the entire time it was on the radio. Name it something you asshats.
See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.
While the winner of this contest did an excellent job picking horrible songs, I really think I could beat the shittiness of that mix tape.
A written list isn't as fun as watching your friend drag his ass through the streets of New York blasting 'Butterfly' by Crazytown, but it'll have to do.
I tried to avoid novelty songs like "I'm Too Sexy" or "Barbie Girl" because, although they were awful, I don't think they were ever intended to be legitimate music. I also tried to avoid bands that I have a personal beef with (although Creed made the cut, proving that you can be a super-annoying douchebag AND make horrible music).
For Your Consideration:
NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK
“Hangin’ Tough”
May seem like a lay-up, but come on, this song was #1 and should be punished.
GERARDO
“Rico Suave”
As close to novelty as I wanted to get, but the memory of the shirtless video was probably my first example of world-class douchyness.
DEEP BLUE SOMETHING
“Breakfast At Tiffany’s”
Dumb. Really dumb. The one thing you got was a movie that 4% of the people that are listening to your song ever saw.
CREED
“Arms Wide Open”
Guh. Let's move on.
RUPERT HOLMES
“Escape (The Pina Colada Song)”
I didn't refine my dislike for this song until I realized it had a moral to the story. I just thought it was a crappy song. I don't need a message written in dookie.
COLOR ME BADD
“I Wanna Sex You Up”
First exposure to a man with waxed eyebrows. It was confusing on top of being badd.
BILLY OCEAN
"Caribbean Queen"
*or "Get Out of my Dreams"
Both blow donkey balls. Although it could be argued that Billy was singing about hooking up with hot chicks and I was battling puberty and a crippling inability to talk to girls while these songs were popular. They smell like Clearasil and insecurity.
BILLY RAY CYRUS
“Achy Breaky Heart”
Mullet.
ACE OF BASE
"All That She Wants"
I'm sure this song is a message about teen pregnancy or something- i never bothered to listen. Dookie message policy applies.
CRASH TEST DUMMIES
“Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm”
Stupid song, stupid croaky voice, stupid stories, but mainly for making everyone say "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" the entire time it was on the radio. Name it something you asshats.
1 Comments:
Crash Test Dummies is a great band, that whole CD is an awesome excercise in bass inspired heathenism. But I agree with the rest of your list. Coming out of the gate strong!
By Unknown, at 5:01 PM
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