Tourons

Touron: A hybrid of tourist and moron. By nature, the tourist is mildly annoying but ultimately has the right to be left alone to enjoy their vacation. A moron is nearly intolerable, but a local moron knows what side of the goddamned path to rollerblade down. When mixed equal part tourist and equal part moron, you have a subspecies that really deserves to get hit by a bus. Or my beach cruiser, in most cases.

The Touron is a bit of a phenomenon due to their exquisite lack of personal space and self awareness. They have almost no sense of what is going on around them. You might be thinking, “Hey man, they aren't from here, they don't know any better...jerkface!”. No. If i'm in some foreign country and I see a steady stream of bikes, cars or people moving in one direction, I don't wander into their path and stand there in my black socks and tevas taking pictures of a seagull. I'd note the screeching brakes and native swearing and probably realize i'm in the f@#king way.

I happened to get the opportunity to capture a pair of Tourons in their natural habitat. Notice the matching outfits and ultra-fast racing skates. You'd think a get-up like that would be worn by professionals, (or at least only a pro would have the balls to wear it). Nope. Flailing tangle of elbow pads and lycra wobbling down the wrong side of the path. Good times.