Bonadouchebag

I used to listen to Lovelines on KROQ. I mostly listened to it for Adam Carolla’s rants. I share his intolerance for absurd rules and the general ignorance of the people in society, but also his affliction of bottling it up and railing it out all at once. He does it on his radio show. I do it here.

Unless you listen to Adam’s new show, this might not make any sense, but I have been yanking out my earbuds and screaming for a year because of it. When he left Loveline and started his own show, I took up the podcast so I could get my fill of the vitriolic soap-boxing that makes Adam such a delight. He had his previous writer from the Man Show as his sports guy and a news girl. It worked. It was funny and interesting. A year later, they fired the sports guy. Who knows why- radio politics. They fired him right before Christmas.

One January 2nd, there was a new voice in my ear. Well, sort of. It was a gravely, hacking, under-informed croak that stepped all over anything that was the show I had been enjoying for the past year.

Danny Bonaduce.

I knew nothing about him when he started, only that he was a child star that went to jail a lot. His first show, he discussed his battles with addiction- both women and drugs. I thought, “Wow, that’s interesting. He’s willing to open the door and talk about things that are probably very painful to discuss with not only a room full of his new coworkers, but the entire audience on his first day. How brave.”.

He hasn’t shut up about it since.


Really? You smoked crack?

I HADN’T HEARD

Went to jail?

NEWS TO ME

Black belt? Really?

NO SHIT

Hey, are you by chance a licensed ship captain or personal trainer?

YOU DON’T SAY

I know more about this washed-up loser than I ever dreamed I wanted to. He is a Chatty Cathy doll that pulls his own string like a retarded spider monkey watching porn. I can’t even imagine what type of low self esteem would drive any woman to sleep with this chain smoking moron, but it’s definitely a testament to how even the dimmest light in Hollywood can get you laid. I wouldn’t have a problem with Bonaduce’s narcissistic, ignorant ramblings about how he is the ultimate mix of tough-guy and sickening romantic if it didn’t go against everything that Adam stands for. The reason people call Adam an American Genius is because he is self-aware, observant and his rants mirror what the common man is thinking. Bonaduce is a bad cartoon of himself and listening to he and Adam talk is like listening to Jon Stewart interview Paris Hilton. There is such a giant chasm between the two’s cultural intellect that it’s painful to watch. You begin to wonder when Adam will call him on his pathetic attempts at portraying himself as anything but a self-involved cretin. It appears that he started out as a radio stunt that unfortunately never ended.

In the words of AC, I have had an impacted assfull of this guy.