Carpeted Stairs... of Death!

When I signed up for a Myspace account, I quickly realized the developers built in a handy feature that lets you rank which friends you like best via the "Top Eight". These are the select friends that show up on your homepage. This allows the user to bypass all the little social graces we have learned as adults and topspins you right back onto the elementary school dodgeball court, picking out the kids you think are the least likely to cry when drilled in the face with an under-inflated utility ball. Only this time, you have to pick the adults who WILL cry if not added to the Almighty Top Eight. While I appreciated the social networking aspect of MySpace, I did not enjoy the friend ranking system. So I filled my top friends with bands that I figured I would probably never meet, thereby sidestepping the uncomfortable conversation with Mike Ness, explaining that I didn't put the bands in any order and that Social D is just as important as Bad Religion.

In doing so, I opened myself up to a cavalcade of "musicians" that go through these band's friend lists and add everyone in an attempt to get people to listen to their crappy music. "Like Pennywise??, You'll love us! We're the next up and coming grindcore band from the infamous seedy underbelly of Big Timber, Montana!".

These requests are normally chuckled at and deleted, but on occasion, I am so baffled at the photo they chose as their profile picture, I have to go to their page and figure out if it's a joke. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it is not. While I can understand that living on a farm in Iowa will probably gimp a high school kid's sense of what's rebellious or punk, I am consistently amazed at what they attempt to pass off as such.

I wish I wouldn't have deleted them in the past as I would have quite the collection to post here, but the gem I got today is worth it. I wont list this kid's MySpace page in case he's really as angry as he'd like you to think he is. Enjoy.