Meat Trucks
What's the deal with guys selling steak out of their trucks? I don't mean carne asada tacos out of a lunch truck- i mean a dude in greasy jeans popping out of his pick-up at a gas station and yelling, "Heeeey buddy, you look like a carnivore...".
In the time it took me to fill my tank at lunch today, 2 of these weirdos approached me. The first one was eating gas station nachos when he asked, (with a mouthful of gas station nachos), "Hey man- you eat steak?" Not knowing he was a traveling steak salesman, I looked at the nachos and assumed he was asking if i had any steak for him to garnish his lunch. I patted my pockets and replied, "No, sorry man."
2 things about my response immediately bothered me. #1, why am i sorry? He can get steak nachos at Taco Bell, and #2 why did I pat my pockets? Even if I did fill my pockets with steak, would i really not remember that I did?
Nacho man then went into his sales pitch. I was trying to dodge all his questions about my meat consumption because i was stuck pumping gas and i couldn't figure out this guy's angle. Eating soggy chips floating in processed "cheese" and trying to sell filet mignon out of a dirty pick up. That's like a guy trying to sell you a fire extinguisher while he's engulfed in flames. Eventually I told him that I was a vegetarian which is a fat lie but the alternative would be deflecting more meat advances from Cleetis.
Right about the time i finished pumping, I saw another dirty pick-up with a similar cooler in the bed. I scrambled to get into my car but it was too late. I was told I looked like a carnivore, which for unknown reasons was a little insulting. I yelled "Meat is murder!" through the cracked window and sped off.
The fact that there were 2 of them in such close proximity suggests that driving around and accosting people at gas stations with boxes of "steaks" is a lucrative enough business venture to warrant city-wide saturation, which would only indicate that people are actually buying from these guys.
There's just something unsettling about guys who look like meth addicts trying to sell me their meat.
In the time it took me to fill my tank at lunch today, 2 of these weirdos approached me. The first one was eating gas station nachos when he asked, (with a mouthful of gas station nachos), "Hey man- you eat steak?" Not knowing he was a traveling steak salesman, I looked at the nachos and assumed he was asking if i had any steak for him to garnish his lunch. I patted my pockets and replied, "No, sorry man."
2 things about my response immediately bothered me. #1, why am i sorry? He can get steak nachos at Taco Bell, and #2 why did I pat my pockets? Even if I did fill my pockets with steak, would i really not remember that I did?
Nacho man then went into his sales pitch. I was trying to dodge all his questions about my meat consumption because i was stuck pumping gas and i couldn't figure out this guy's angle. Eating soggy chips floating in processed "cheese" and trying to sell filet mignon out of a dirty pick up. That's like a guy trying to sell you a fire extinguisher while he's engulfed in flames. Eventually I told him that I was a vegetarian which is a fat lie but the alternative would be deflecting more meat advances from Cleetis.
Right about the time i finished pumping, I saw another dirty pick-up with a similar cooler in the bed. I scrambled to get into my car but it was too late. I was told I looked like a carnivore, which for unknown reasons was a little insulting. I yelled "Meat is murder!" through the cracked window and sped off.
The fact that there were 2 of them in such close proximity suggests that driving around and accosting people at gas stations with boxes of "steaks" is a lucrative enough business venture to warrant city-wide saturation, which would only indicate that people are actually buying from these guys.
There's just something unsettling about guys who look like meth addicts trying to sell me their meat.
posted by El Tiburon at
1:24 PM
2 Comments:
nice...made me spit out the cashews I was drunkenly devouring
By
Anonymous, at 11:34 PM
Well I must say to you one thing. Your right about the guys in the pickups I have tried there meat and it sucks. I had another guy show up at my door with what I thought was the same thing. This guy was in a white Chevy van. I ended buying it again from this guy. I am glad I did tho. The guy with the van his stuff was great. So don't mess with the guys in the pick-ups but if it's out of a van and it's about an inch thick it's good stuff
By
Unknown, at 10:35 PM
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