The Soup Fiasco

I know I bitch about insignificant shit a lot on this blog... and this is one of those times.

I went to Vons today to get lunch and dinner supplies. I passed the little soup island and thought... "I'm not really that hungry, and the soup here is pretty good.". "SOUP FOR LUNCH!", I declared as I thrust a finger in the air. I selected a little paper to-go bowl and ladled some of the molten lava into it. As I dropped the little plastic lid on it, I noticed it went on without that little reassuring snap. I picked it up and sure enough, it popped off and I received what had to be a first degree burn. Having a high threshhold for pain and lots of experience injuring myself in front of large crowds with as much grace as possible, I took the burn with a bite on the lip and a whispered "fuuuuuuuuuck". I finished shopping and arrived at the checkstand. This is where things generally go south for me. As I was swiping my club card and having completely forgotten about the lid, the teenage checkout girl yelped. I looked down and she had slid the bowl over the laser sensor and spilled some of it. She was staring at me with eyes as big as saucers.

Girl: I burned my hand!

Me: Oh, no. Sorry, yeah- i tried to get that lid on as tight as I could. It won't snap down.

Girl: I totally burned my hand!

Me: ... I know, I did too... sorry, I should've said something. You ok?

Girl: That's really hot!

Me: Yeah- tell me about it.

Girl: I need a paper towel!

and so on

Now at this point she's pretty much openly blaming me. I'm thinking, "Listen, bimbo, I am not a Vons paper bowl lid engineer, I don't control the temperature of anything, I don't even work here, AND I got burned too. Calm down.". After some scrambling to find paper towels and applying a field burn treatment, she was able muster some courage and finish checking me out. Although everyone in the store was giving me the stink-eye for being the monster that threw acid on an innocent teenage girl.