My First Squash

[ Wife emails grocery list that includes one yellow squash ]

Me (over IM): Do i know what "1 yellow squash" is? i've never bought a squash in my life

Her: Its a yellow thing, should be by the cucumbers

Me: you should be by the cucumbers

Her: !

[ Enter grocery store and collect requested items. Including one yellow squash ]

Cashier (flipping though produce code book): Is this a straight squash or a curved one?

Me: I don't know. It's my first squash. All I know is that It's supposed to be yellow

Cashier (looks up like a lobster just crawled out of my ear): What do you mean?

Me: I haven't ever bought a squash before. This is my first one

Cashier (through broken laughter) wha... what made you finally turn the corner??

Me: The wife wants to eat healthier I guess...

The Cashier continued scanning items and her giggling gradually became laughter. As I grabbed all my bags and headed for the door she waved and yelled "Good luck with your squash, even if it all goes wrong, at least you bought wine too!!" and laughed even harder.