Round Mound of Bag Boy

"Do you need help out with these?"

I know they have to ask everyone so I let it slide when the 84lbs acne-covered kid with the leg brace implies I need his help carrying a box of pasta and a light bulb, but what really pisses me off is after I tell them "No thanks", they suddenly turn into Charles Barkley and box me out against the change dispenser, effectively sealing me off from reaching my bags without climbing over their back like some weird attempt at a cheerleader pyramid. It's like "Do you want help with these" is grocery store slang for "You want to look like a pussy letting a high school kid carry your groceries or do you want to look like a pedophile monkey backpack swiping at your bags in front of everyone in line?".

If you want to "help me out with these", how bout getting the F@#K out of my way so I can get to them and the movie kiosk before all the copies of New Moon are gone. I mean Gamer.